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The common traps businesses fall into – and how to fix them

Let’s be honest, we’ve all had that customer service moment that leaves us seething. You’ve taken the time to raise a complaint or flag a mistake, only to receive a cold, scripted, meaningless "apology" that does nothing but rub salt in the wound.

And yet, so many businesses, especially time-poor startups and SMEs, are still getting the apology wrong. The truth is that a poor apology does more harm than no apology at all. It damages trust, pushes customers away, and ultimately hits the bottom line.

At DAP Consultancy, we work with businesses across the UK to transform these moments of tension into opportunities for loyalty. Because when handled well, a genuine "sorry" can be a powerful tool for building stronger relationships with your customers.

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So, what are the classic mistakes that totally fail at saying sorry?

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1. The Scripted Non-Apology

You know the one: "We apologise for any inconvenience caused."

No mention of what went wrong, no ownership, no empathy, just a generic statement designed to tick a compliance box.

  • Why it fails: Customers can spot a script a mile off. A generic apology tells them you’re not listening, and worse, that you don’t care.
  • Do better: Empower your team to ditch the scripts. Equip them with simple, flexible frameworks they can adapt to each customer’s situation. A real apology should sound human – not like it was written by a robot in legal.

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2. Blame-shifting

"If you’d checked the small print…" “Unfortunately, you selected the wrong option…”

Even if the customer was at fault, saying it like this is guaranteed to wind them up.

  • Why it fails: Nobody wants to be blamed when they’re already frustrated. It’s dismissive and defensive – and it kills any chance of resolution.
  • Do better: Find common ground. Say things like, “I can see how that would be frustrating” or “Let me look into this and see what we can do”. Take ownership where possible, and focus on moving forward, not pointing fingers.

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3. The hollow “Sorry you feel that way”

This is the classic politician's apology: "We’re sorry you feel that way."

  • Why it fails: It avoids any actual admission of wrongdoing. You're not sorry for the thing – you're just sorry the customer’s annoyed about it.
  • Do better: Be clear, direct, and take responsibility. Say, “We got it wrong, and I’m really sorry about that.” There’s strength in honesty – and customers respect businesses that own their mistakes.

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4. Policies over people

"That’s just our policy." "There’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid."

  • Why it fails: It signals to the customer that processes matter more than people. It’s not only frustrating, it’s lazy.
  • Do better: Review your frontline scripts and escalation processes. Ask yourself: are they helping your team solve problems, or just giving them a shield to hide behind? Customers want solutions, not policy quotes.

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What good looks like

The best customer apologies are:

  • Timely – don’t delay, especially if you know you’ve dropped the ball.
  • Specific – refer directly to what went wrong.
  • Human – speak like a person, not a process.
  • Forward-looking – focus on fixing the issue and preventing it from happening again.

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Final Thought: When you know better, you do better

It’s easy to underestimate the impact of a bad apology, until you realise how much it costs in lost loyalty, poor reviews, and word-of-mouth damage. If you run a business, this stuff matters. Customers don’t expect perfection, but they do expect you to own your mistakes and care enough to fix them.

At DAP Consultancy, we help businesses build stronger customer relationships by getting the basics (like saying sorry) absolutely right. If you’re ready to level up your customer experience and turn complaints into loyalty, let’s have a chat.

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